Sunday, April 18, 2010

Inner Peace

One of the things that I frequently strive for is that feeling of inner peace. For me, this is about feeling calm and comfortable in the moment. There are so many times when I find myself feeling sad, anxious, guilty, behind or any other emotion that somehow puts me off kilter, and it is easy for me to get caught up in these emotions. This weekend, I had a number of moments when I felt at ease, even when there were things that could have set me off.

Last night, I went to the Hotel Cafe to see an LMU student perform. I love the Hotel Cafe. It is one of my favorite venues in Los Angeles. There's nothing like getting there early enough to grab a table, and then hanging out listening to the live music and enjoying the fantastic ambiance. Last night, I looked around the table, and realized some of my favorite people were by my side, and in a moment of clarity, I realized that I have made a great life for myself in LA. I have some great friends who make me smile and love me for who I am. I have a good job with people that I like. And I'm actively working to making progress on the things in my life that I'd like to see changed. There's not much more you can ask for.

Today, I had some more clarity as I listened to what I really wanted out of my day, and didn't worry about what anyone else wanted. I was invited to go to Disney, which is typically a no-brainer for me. But today, when asked, I almost felt obliged to go. Going to Disney? Yes! Done and done. But all of a sudden, I was really aware of the feeling inside of me telling me not to go...telling me to stay home with myself and just have some me time. So, despite feeling a little sad to be missing out, I kindly declined the offer and settled in for some time alone. And this was exactly what I needed. Now, as I'm tucked into bed and looking ahead to tomorrow, I feel very content with my day and more ready to take one another.

And isn't that something?

Thursday, April 01, 2010

Random Road Trip

As most of you know, I am far from spontaneous. I am a planner. One time, in grad school, Kevin, Liz, Jen and I went on a road trip, and the four of us even planned our spontaneity. That's very us, and very me.

So, when faced with time off and countless attempts to find an affordable vacation with no success, it was looking like I was going to spend my days off during spring break no further away than Manhattan Beach.

Now, let me be clear. I love Manhattan Beach, and I am always in awe of myself that I get to roll out of bed and over to the beach whenever I want. So, I have no problems with this existence. However, there were a few variables that were making this scenario less than favorable this week:

-ONE- I had gotten approval to have this time away. For some people, this sounds like a simple task, but in the world of Residence Life at LMU, you need to actually be granted permission to go away for the weekend. It is one the few aspects of my job that I truly don't like (and it makes it even harder because I don't agree with the logic behind it), and probably the thing that will eventually cause me to look for another job that promotes a better life balance. Anyway....I digress... So, I actually had the time away, and since this is not always the easiest thing to accomplish, I did not want to lost out on the opportunity.

-TWO- The weather wasn't supposed to be great in LA. Shocking, I know, but let me clarify. Not great weather in LA means cloudy and 60 degrees. I know this is far from terrible in the grand scheme of things, but in my life, this means no beach weather. Boo for the pale kid.

-THREE- No responsibilities and no sun can only lead to one thing. Nothing holding me accountable to getting out of bed. This is what would likely happen..I would wake up naturally around 7:30am. Refusing to get out of bed this early, I would turn the tv on and pray for a Law & Order marathon. After a while, I would likely fall back asleep, and stay in a half awake/half asleep state until I feel so pathetic and lazy that I drag myself to the couch, where at least I can say that I got out of bed.

So, all of these factors were making the idea of staying in LA not so favorable. I mean, even AJ was out of town on an AB trip, so there would be no person calling me for brunch in the morning. As I was lamenting about this one day, my friend Scott and I started exchanging FB chats, and before I knew it, he was persuading me to get off my arse and visit him in Phoenix. This seemed like a simple plan. Pack a bag, grab my Chevron gift card I won at the blood drive, charge the iPod and six hours later...voila! Phoenix. But immediately, I began to doubt the idea. I hadn't really thought this through or planned for it. Could I really just jump in Miss Henrietta and head east? And really, I clearly had the ability to do so, so it wasn't a question so much of could I as it was would I? Even on Tuesday night after telling Scott I was going to make the journey, I wasn't so sure it would happen.

But alas, I surprised even myself. And on Wednesday, as I threw my stuff in the car and put her in drive, I set my sights on Phoenix, and never looked back. One stop, six hours and endless tunes later, I pulled up on Alamo Street to find Scott sitting outside with a beer in hand. And after a tour of his new house, we were off to dinner at the Cornish Pasty Co. What is that, you might ask? Well, I'm still not entirely sure. But what I do know is that it was very English, very Scott and very enjoyable.

Now, as I sit by his pool and listen to the songbird chirp, a new twist to the random road trip unfolds. Kelly and her husband are on their way to Phoenix as I type to visit her parents. So, it looks like I might get two Buckeyes for the price of one this weekend. This goes to show me...sometimes spontaneity pays off!

Goals

So, my goal for 2010 was to blog at least 10 times a month. Clearly, I did not accomplish this in March...at least not on this blog. Since I am also trying to keep up with this photo a day blog (http://photographicstate2010.blogspot.com and http://agirlandherpointofview.blogspot.com), I guess I technically did blog, just not in the written format. Either way, something that I've definitely learned, and often remind myself, is to let myself off of the hook when I don't do something "perfectly." So, I think five times is pretty good, and today is a new month (literally), so it's time to start again.

And in fairness, I am working toward helping others enter the world of blogging. Today, I've encouraged my dear friend Dung to start his own blog, commenting on all of the interesting news articles he always posts on Facebook. And I have a blog idea in mind for my niece's summer vacation this year. So, clearly I've done my part for the blogosphere.