Tears of Glee

Tonight's episode of 'Glee' brought me to tears.  I already am so endeared to the character of Finn, and he made some big steps in the right direction at his mom's wedding to Kurt's dad.  I love the character of Kurt, as well, so the entire scene had me balled up on the couch with tears streaming down my face.  And with AJ laughing at me (even though he was also all emotional about it), it just added to the whole situation.  And then, as the episode ended, I couldn't help but be even more upset at Kurt's decision to transfer schools.  And with the next episode being sectionals, how will it all get resolved so that they aren't Glee rivals?  Ugh!  I am so stressed about all of it!

Okay, so upon rereading this last paragraph, I'm wondering if I should seek additional help.  I clearly get way too attached to fictional characters in books, movies and TV shows.  This can't be normal.  I once cried for 20 minutes in my seat after seeing 'Miss Saigon' on Broadway.  Twenty minutes!  My friends were all sitting there wondering what to do with me.  Or the time that Yas, Marci and I saw 'Time Traveler's Wife' in the theaters, and the usher had to kick us out so that they could turn the theater over for the next showing.  We were sitting there in tears with the book in hand recapping our favorite moments.  I know a lot of people cry, but I'm telling you, my level of being impacted is different.  I become a mess.  Don't even get me started about what happened after seeing 'Life is Beautiful.'  Tragic.  The movie and my reaction.

Full of It

Today, I spent all day in bed.  Thanks to a brutal cold that has involved over a week of coughing, chest congestion and a sore throat, last night I got almost no sleep.  Because yesterday, the non-stop sneezing began.  Followed by nasal congestion that prevented me from breathing through the nose, no matter how many tissues I went through.  So, when my alarm went off this morning, and I rolled over to see that I was swimming in tissues from a rough night of fighting with my nose, I knew there was no way I was getting out of bed.  Because I still couldn't breathe, I ended up laying here watching countless hours of Glee until I finally fell asleep and slept solidly until 5:30 pm.  Now, as I curl back up in bed, I do have some of my breathing back even as a fever creeps into my body.  So while I have no idea what tomorrow will bring for this endless parade of health issues, I do know one thing:

I have no idea how or why snot is produced.  And since I am very uninformed in this area of life, I have developed my own theory.  If I can pinpoint whatever produces snot, can't we just learn to remove that part of our bodies so we never have to deal with it again?  Clearly, I know that it can't be that easy, but when I am laying here in agony, breathing through my mouth and wishing I could get myself to fall asleep, the hope that this will one day be true is the only thing that can really get me through.

One of the Guys

One of the many perks of working on a college campus is getting the benefit of seeing the great speakers who are brought to campus to share their thoughts and world views with the students.  Tonight, the LGBTSS hosted Guy Branum in the Living Room.  While I've only seen "Chelsea Lately" a handful of times, it was still exciting to meander down and hear what he had to say.  Also, since we are still so, so young in our LGBTSS programming, it's always great to go out and support the office and the students, especially here, on a Catholic campus.

As both a lawyer and a stand-up comic, he had a lot of great things to share, and he was good at trying to engage the audience in questions so it wasn't just him babbling on.  Of course, as he was talking about why it is so important for the LGBT community to have allies, he gave a special mention to the "sassy straight woman friend."  I laughed, and both Anthony and Jimmie looked over and gave me a big smile.  Afterwards, as Anthony was introducing us to Guy, he introduced me as the "token straight female friend."  We all again laughed.  But afterwards I was thinking about the reality of this statement.  We grow up learning the importance of valuing the roles we will play in life:  family member, friend, professional title.  Growing up, I always new these were titles that would be of importance in my life, but never once did I think about being the "sassy straight woman friend" and how much a part of my life this would be.

To be honest, I don't even know quite where I'm going with this thought, other than most of the time we think of our allied roles (to whichever community you serve as an ally) as about how we support them.  But I think it is more valuable to think about how our lives are enriched by opening our hearts to love rather than focusing on hate or fear.  I don't even know if that sums it up (clearly I'm not feeling as articulate tonight as usual), but it is what is on my mind, and so share I did.

GLEEdership

Today, I spent the whole day in Fresno working at Fresno State with the Central RAP committee.  This is part of my responsibility as the Member-at-Large for the Central Region through WACUHO, and I can't remember the last time I had so much fun doing "work."  We planned, shopped, laughed and got ready for tomorrow's conference.  And the more I thought about all of the students who were heading our way to participate in the conference, the more excited I got.  And I am especially so proud of the LMU delegation!  They have really put their hearts into this, and it has shown!  Their video is AMAZING!  I will have to a copy so that I can embed it into the blog.  It is clever and funny and CHOREOGRAPHED!  Seriously!

And I just finished my presentation for tomorrow.  I am presenting to the new professionals on submitting successful program proposals for conferences.  And since the whole conference is "Glee" themed, my session is called "Submitting Program Proposals that are a 'Schue' in!"  I'm excited about it, so hopefully the attendees will be too!

So tonight, I go to bed proud to be both a Lion and a member of the WACUHO region.  If everyday were like this, I'd never get sick of work!  And while I'm on this high, I need to finish my welcome address to the conference and my words during the New Pros social.  Hopefully I can be clever and win them all over!

Why Do I Watch?

I have a guilty pleasure television show. I am almost embarrassed to admit this, but I can't seem to stop watching the Road Rules/Real World Challenges. But though this is on my Tivo Season Pass list, there are a few things I can't seem to understand about these shows:

1. Why do we care about these people?

The majority of the people on these shows are selfish, greedy, shallow assholes who have centered their lives around being on MTV. There is nothing remotely likable about these people, and yet, somehow they continue to recruit new idiots to join this lot. How? Do they bribe these people with lots of money? Are these lonely folks who have no other method of creating a community? I truly can't think of why, after almost two decades of these shows, people would still want to become a part of what they know will become a hot mess.

2. Why do they make so much money for being asses?

I work my ass off everyday in my job. I work for others...to help others. And yet, these people make in four weeks what I make in a year (if not more). And they get to run around and act like fools. Many times, they don't even need to exercise morals. So why are we paying these people? Isn't there something better we could be doing with this money? Shouldn't we encourage these folks to go out and earn their money like the rest of us?

3. Are their parents proud of them?

I can't imagine the parents of these people tuning in to see them in action and beaming with pride. Is it just me? Lying, cheating, tormenting others. Most of the guys are degrading to women and completely sexist. The number of STIs within that group must be incredible. And how many of them have had to leave midseason for punching someone else? Seriously...do these mothers boast to their friends about what their kids are up to these days?

4. Does anyone actually watch these shows without contempt for the participants?

I loathe these people. It's like a train wreck. I can't stop watching. But it's not because I am getting anything fulfilling or reflective from these shows. Many times, I'm barely paying attention except when I am watching with my mouth hanging open at the way these people are treating each other. Is there anyone who is tuning in because they find these people enjoyable and wish they were their friends? God, I hope not.

Despite this ranting, I am still watching. Therefore, it leaves me with one last question: What's wrong with me?!

The Scary Truth

So, Michele posted this on her live journal recently, and I couldn't help but be intrigued enough to repost it here. It's scary to admit some of these, and may I remind you that a few of these are only because of shows Kayla made me watch!

*Sigh* Here goes...

Rules:
- Bold all of the following TV shows which you've ever seen 3 or more episodes of in your lifetime.
- Italicize a show if you're positive you've seen every episode of it.

24
7th Heaven
ALF
Alias
American Gothic
America's Next Top Model
Angel
Arrested Development
Babylon 5
Batman: The Animated Series
Battlestar Galactica (the old one)
Battlestar Galactica (the new one)
Baywatch
Beverly Hills 90210
Bewitched
Bonanza
Bones
Bosom Buddies
Boston Legal
Boy Meets World
Brothers And Sisters
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Californication
Chappelle's Show
Charlie's Angels
Charmed
Cheers
Chuck
Clarissa Explains it All
Columbo
Commander in Chief
Crossing Jordan
CSI
CSI: Miami
CSI: NY
Curb Your Enthusiasm
Dark Angel
Dark Skies
DaVinci's Inquest
Dawson's Creek
Dead Like Me
Deadwood
Degrassi: The Next Generation
Designing Women
Desperate Housewives
Dexter
Dharma & Greg
Different Strokes
Doctor Who
Dragnet
Due South
ER
Even Stevens
Everwood
Everybody Loves Raymond
Facts of Life
Family Guy
Farscape
Fawlty Towers
Felicity
Firefly
Frasier
Friends
Fringe
Futurama
Get Smart
Gilligan's Island
Gilmore Girls
Glee
Gossip Girl
Grey's Anatomy
Grange Hill
Growing Pains
Gunsmoke
Happy Days
Hercules: the Legendary Journeys
Heroes
Home Improvement
Homicide: Life on the Street
House
I Dream of Jeannie
I Love Lucy
Invader Zim
Invasion
Hell's Kitchen
JAG
Jackass
Joey
Kim Possible
Knight Rider
Knight Rider: 2008
Kung Fu
Kung Fu: The Legend Continues
La Femme Nikita
LA Law
Laverne and Shirley
Law and Order: SVU
Leverage
Little House on the Prairie
Lizzie McGuire
Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman
Lost
Lost in Space
MASH
MacGyver
Malcolm in the Middle
Married... With Children
McLeods Daughters
Melrose Place
Miami Vice
Mission: Impossible
Mod Squad
Monk
Mork & Mindy
Murphy Brown
Mystery Science Theater 3000
My Life As A Dog
My Three Sons
My Two Dads
Mythbusters
NCIS
Ned Bigby's Declassified School Survival Guide
Nip/Tuck
Numb3rs
One Tree Hill
Oz
Perry Mason
Power Rangers
Press Gang
Prison Break
Private Practice
Privileged
Profiler
Project Runway
Psych
Pushing Daisies
Quantum Leap
Queer As Folk (US)
Queer as Folk (UK)
ReGenesis
Remington Steele
Rescue Me
Road Rules
ROME
Roseanne
Roswell
Sanctuary
Scooby-Doo, Where Are You?
Scrubs
Seaquest DSV
Seinfeld
Sex and the City
Six Feet Under
Slings and Arrows
Smallville
So Weird
South of Nowhere
South Park
Spongebob Squarepants
Star Trek
Star Trek: The Next Generation
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Star Trek: Voyager
Star Trek: Enterprise
Stargate Atlantis
Stargate SG-1
Starsky & Hutch
Superman
Supernatural
Surface
Survivor
Taxi
Teen Titans
That 70's Show
That's So Raven
The 4400
The Addams Family
The Amazing Race
The Andy Griffith Show
The A-Team
The Avengers
The Beverly Hillbillies
The Brady Bunch
The Cosby Show
The Daily Show
The Dead Zone
The Dick Van Dyke Show
The Flintstones
The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
The Golden Girls
The Honeymooners
The Jeffersons
The Jetsons
The Love Boat
The Magnificent Seven
The Mary Tyler Moore Show
The Monkees
The Munsters
The Office (US)
The Office (UK)
The Powerpuff Girls
The Pretender
The Real World
The Shield
The Simpsons
The Six Million Dollar Man
The Sopranos
The Suite Life of Zack and Cody
The Twilight Zone
The Waltons
The West Wing
The Wonder Years
The X-Files
Third Watch
Three's Company
Twin Peaks
Twitch City
Unfabulous
Ugly Betty
Veronica Mars
Weeds
Whose Line is it Anyway? (US)
Whose Line is it Anyway? (UK)
Will and Grace
Wings
Xena: Warrior Princess

Jersey Shore

Yesterday, I was flipping through the channels and came across a very upsetting commercial on MTV. (And by flipping through the channels, I mean watching an episode of the Real World/Road Rules Challenge that I had tivo'd. It's a guilty pleasure, okay!) Anyway...

Why does MTV have to torture the already strained reputation of my great home state by creating a reality television show based on the lives of the least lovely people who live on the Jersey Shore? These people are not representative of the majority of us who grew up in this great region of the country, and yet they are the ones who are flaunting themselves around and making an arse out of my state. It is so infuriating. And why must MTV sink so low as to exploit these idiots? They actually used the term 'guido' in the commercial to describe some of the characters. Seriously?!?

I should sue them for emotional distress.

"I'm Really Angry at that Kid"

Isn't it amazing how a television show can bring up such emotion in us? What happened to the days when we could watch 30 minutes of television where there was always some funny misunderstanding or lesson to be learned before the credits rolled? When Jason and Maggie would sit Mike or Carol or Ben down to help them grow from that week's episode? Sure, I might have teared up at "the very special episode" of each series, but somehow, these days, shows seem to bring a tear to my eye more frequently than not.

There's one show in particular that really brings up a lot of emotion for me. As I was watching the final few minutes of this week's episode, somebody on the show made a comment about being really angry at the person they used to be. In that moment, the tears started. For whatever reason, that one statement really triggered in me some of my own self disappointments, and now I am left in the silence of the room pondering these thoughts. It's amazing how you can be your own worst enemy or your own greatest frustration. How does someone get to that point? Do we learn this self doubt? Is this somehow reinforced along the way? And even when you feel like you've taken 50 steps forward, in a moment like this, it can feel like you haven't made any progress at all.

Again, all of this from a TV show. Amazing the impact it can have. And amazing how the silence that comes once the show has ended can often feel louder than those 30 second commercial breaks.

lessons learned...

...from television?!

yes, so, i hate to admit it, but there are times when i watch some cheesey, cliched television show, and as the credits are rolling, i find myself pondering some deeper meaning and how it applies to my own life. and tonight, as i immersed myself into some gift of pop culture from my tivo, i couldn't help but think about the search for self. considering the one person in life you should know the best (taking into account the amount of time you spend with them) is yourself, why do we spend so much of our lives trying to figure out who we are? shouldn't that process be a bit easier?

at the age of 30, i can't decide if i've figured out a lot or a little. i know i've made big strides, particularly in the last few years, but there doesn't seem to be a day that goes by that i don't find myself in deep thought about some aspect of me. and is this a sign that i'm only toe deep in my attempts at getting to know myself, or am i just introspective? either way, i'm not sure i'm happy with the answer. because what i want is a bit of contentment rather than always a push to better and improve. because that kind of push is tiring, and in life, there's no commercial break during which i can rest up.