About ten years ago, I called my grandmother and asked her
what she was doing. She told me that she had just come back from the funeral
home because she was planning her funeral. When I responded in shock, she said,
“Don’t worry…You’re invited!” I’m really glad to see all of you received an
invitation as well.
You see, that’s how my grandmother was. She had a quick wit
and a great sense of humor. Most of my memories of her involve lots of laughter
and joking, and from the stories I’ve heard all of you share over the past few
days, I think yours do too.
But having a great sense of humor only made me think of all
the other ways she was great. My grandmother was part of the Greatest
Generation, the generation whose lives were shaped by growing up when our
country was engaged in World War II. She and my grandfather only went on a
couple of dates before grandpa left for the war. But for over two years, he
wrote her constantly, professing his love and stating his dreams for their
future. She told me about these letters many times over the years, but it
wasn’t until I was able to see them…read them…that I truly understood how much
of who she was came back to this time.
The Greatest Generation is known for a couple of things.
They are known for their perseverance and courage. My grandfather wrote her
every few days. I remember telling her once how romantic I thought it was that
grandpa wrote so much, and in her usual joking manner, she told me she thought
he was crazy. They barely knew each other, after all. But the more we talked
about it, the more I realized that this was part of her perseverance and
courage. She told me many times what a scary time it was because you never knew
who was coming home and who wasn’t. I think this fear, this need to be
courageous, is part of what made her into the strong, independent woman she
was. She knew that no matter who came home from the war, she had to survive.
She had to live. She had to thrive. And live and thrive she did.
It’s no secret that I idolized my grandmother. When I was a
kid and she would visit us in New Jersey, she would always stay in my room. I
would lay in bed at night as she would tell me about all of her travels and
adventures. She would tell me about the trips she and my grandfather made, from
their cross-country road trip during their honeymoon to their visits to the
“old country.” She never missed a chance to remind me how important it was to
set foot on Italian soil. And she would laugh as she recalled her adventures
with her sister-in-law, seeing the green rolling hills of Ireland to running
from a bear in Alaska. I would lay there and listen to these stories, and
that’s when I knew that one day I would have to see these same sites with my
own eyes…to bring to life the stories being told by my idol…to have the courage
to take risks like she did…to be great, like she was.
But her love of travel wasn’t the only example of her
courage and sense of spirit. It was also in her day-to-day life. When video
games became popular, she was the first one I knew to master the art of Dr.
Mario. I remember my friends being in awe that my grandmother was willing to
hang out and challenge us to a game. And for her 70th birthday, she
wanted to go ice skating. And while I distinctly remember the rest of us
clumsily making our way around the rink trying to stay upright on our skates,
she was beaming while doing figure eights around us. Or what about all of the
years we spent at the Dude Ranch? I was fairly young at the time and had had a
bad experience on a horse, but as I watched her climb into the saddle, I knew
that I needed to have the same courage as her. I think being a part of the Greatest
Generation instilled in her the belief to never take life for granted…to live
each second…to find the great in each moment.
Members of the Greatest Generation are also known for their
loyalty and faithful commitments. And to know my grandmother was to know that
she was fiercely loyal. Have you ever watched a Yankees game with her? When I
was working at UMass Amherst, she was visiting me during a Yankees/Red Sox
game. I had to pull her off of my balcony because she was yelling at the
students around my apartment who were chanting for Boston. I had to laugh as
she told me that it was her responsibility to educate them on who was the
superior baseball team. She was a great woman; clearly she needed to cheer for
a great team.
And aside from the Yankees, there was nothing to which she
was more faithful than her family. Yes, she was a member of the Greatest
Generation, but I think this is where she had her greatest impact. This was her
greatest adventure. Because when I think about my grandmother, aside from all
the laughter and all of the fun, I think of family.
She was a daughter. She was a sister. She was an aunt. That
is the family from which she came. But I am most in awe of the family that she
created. As I said, my grandmother was funny, independent, courageous, full of
life. Well, so are we. She loved each of us with all of her heart and thanks to
that love, we are who we are today. I see it in her three children. They each
have a piece of her humor, her perseverance, her loyalty. I see it in the love
they have for her, holding her hand until her last breath. But I also see it in
how each of them has created their own families – my brother and my cousins.
One of our favorite arguments to have is who is grandma’s favorite. We each
have a story of the time she assured us that it was us. She found it so funny
to watch us bicker about it, but I think it’s a testament to how much we all
love her and how much love she instilled in each of us. Because I think the
truth is that we were each her favorite and for very different reasons. She may
have been part of the Greatest Generation, but in her eyes, we were all great.
And while my cousins and I know that nothing could brighten her day as quickly
as when her two grandsons walked in the door, I know that nothing made her
happier than the fact that her granddaughters are all strong, independent,
funny women, just like her. And even more fitting that her family now consists
of three great granddaughters. How great is that?
Perseverance. Courage. Loyalty. These might be traits of the
Greatest Generation, but they are at the core of who my grandmother was. That,
of course, and her sense of humor. The last day that I spent with her, she
asked me why I was in town. I told her I was going to run a half marathon. She
said to me, “A half marathon? Are you too lazy to run the whole thing?” I could
only laugh and shake my head.
Today, we say goodbye to a woman who made each of us a
little better; who made each of us laugh a little louder; who made each of us
live a little fuller. She truly was the great one, and she will be greatly missed.
