The Great One

My paternal grandmother passed away last week. When I was in the third grade, I won a county-wide essay contest for an essay I wrote about why she was my hero. This is the eulogy I wrote for her funeral.

About ten years ago, I called my grandmother and asked her what she was doing. She told me that she had just come back from the funeral home because she was planning her funeral. When I responded in shock, she said, “Don’t worry…You’re invited!” I’m really glad to see all of you received an invitation as well.

You see, that’s how my grandmother was. She had a quick wit and a great sense of humor. Most of my memories of her involve lots of laughter and joking, and from the stories I’ve heard all of you share over the past few days, I think yours do too.

But having a great sense of humor only made me think of all the other ways she was great. My grandmother was part of the Greatest Generation, the generation whose lives were shaped by growing up when our country was engaged in World War II. She and my grandfather only went on a couple of dates before grandpa left for the war. But for over two years, he wrote her constantly, professing his love and stating his dreams for their future. She told me about these letters many times over the years, but it wasn’t until I was able to see them…read them…that I truly understood how much of who she was came back to this time.

The Greatest Generation is known for a couple of things. They are known for their perseverance and courage. My grandfather wrote her every few days. I remember telling her once how romantic I thought it was that grandpa wrote so much, and in her usual joking manner, she told me she thought he was crazy. They barely knew each other, after all. But the more we talked about it, the more I realized that this was part of her perseverance and courage. She told me many times what a scary time it was because you never knew who was coming home and who wasn’t. I think this fear, this need to be courageous, is part of what made her into the strong, independent woman she was. She knew that no matter who came home from the war, she had to survive. She had to live. She had to thrive. And live and thrive she did.

It’s no secret that I idolized my grandmother. When I was a kid and she would visit us in New Jersey, she would always stay in my room. I would lay in bed at night as she would tell me about all of her travels and adventures. She would tell me about the trips she and my grandfather made, from their cross-country road trip during their honeymoon to their visits to the “old country.” She never missed a chance to remind me how important it was to set foot on Italian soil. And she would laugh as she recalled her adventures with her sister-in-law, seeing the green rolling hills of Ireland to running from a bear in Alaska. I would lay there and listen to these stories, and that’s when I knew that one day I would have to see these same sites with my own eyes…to bring to life the stories being told by my idol…to have the courage to take risks like she did…to be great, like she was.

But her love of travel wasn’t the only example of her courage and sense of spirit. It was also in her day-to-day life. When video games became popular, she was the first one I knew to master the art of Dr. Mario. I remember my friends being in awe that my grandmother was willing to hang out and challenge us to a game. And for her 70^th birthday, she wanted to go ice skating. And while I distinctly remember the rest of us clumsily making our way around the rink trying to stay upright on our skates, she was beaming while doing figure eights around us. Or what about all of the years we spent at the Dude Ranch? I was fairly young at the time and had had a bad experience on a horse, but as I watched her climb into the saddle, I knew that I needed to have the same courage as her. I think being a part of the Greatest Generation instilled in her the belief to never take life for granted…to live each second…to find the great in each moment.

Members of the Greatest Generation are also known for their loyalty and faithful commitments. And to know my grandmother was to know that she was fiercely loyal. Have you ever watched a Yankees game with her? When I was working at UMass Amherst, she was visiting me during a Yankees/Red Sox game. I had to pull her off of my balcony because she was yelling at the students around my apartment who were chanting for Boston. I had to laugh as she told me that it was her responsibility to educate them on who was the superior baseball team. She was a great woman; clearly she needed to cheer for a great team.

And aside from the Yankees, there was nothing to which she was more faithful than her family. Yes, she was a member of the Greatest Generation, but I think this is where she had her greatest impact. This was her greatest adventure. Because when I think about my grandmother, aside from all the laughter and all of the fun, I think of family.

She was a daughter. She was a sister. She was an aunt. That is the family from which she came. But I am most in awe of the family that she created. As I said, my grandmother was funny, independent, courageous, full of life. Well, so are we. She loved each of us with all of her heart and thanks to that love, we are who we are today. I see it in her three children. They each have a piece of her humor, her perseverance, her loyalty. I see it in the love they have for her, holding her hand until her last breath. But I also see it in how each of them has created their own families – my brother and my cousins. One of our favorite arguments to have is who is grandma’s favorite. We each have a story of the time she assured us that it was us. She found it so funny to watch us bicker about it, but I think it’s a testament to how much we all love her and how much love she instilled in each of us. Because I think the truth is that we were each her favorite and for very different reasons. She may have been part of the Greatest Generation, but in her eyes, we were all great. And while my cousins and I know that nothing could brighten her day as quickly as when her two grandsons walked in the door, I know that nothing made her happier than the fact that her granddaughters are all strong, independent, funny women, just like her. And even more fitting that her family now consists of three great granddaughters. How great is that?

Perseverance. Courage. Loyalty. These might be traits of the Greatest Generation, but they are at the core of who my grandmother was. That, of course, and her sense of humor. The last day that I spent with her, she asked me why I was in town. I told her I was going to run a half marathon. She said to me, “A half marathon? Are you too lazy to run the whole thing?” I could only laugh and shake my head.

Today, we say goodbye to a woman who made each of us a little better; who made each of us laugh a little louder; who made each of us live a little fuller. She truly was the great one, and she will be greatly missed.