Inner Peace

One of the things that I frequently strive for is that feeling of inner peace. For me, this is about feeling calm and comfortable in the moment. There are so many times when I find myself feeling sad, anxious, guilty, behind or any other emotion that somehow puts me off kilter, and it is easy for me to get caught up in these emotions. This weekend, I had a number of moments when I felt at ease, even when there were things that could have set me off.

Last night, I went to the Hotel Cafe to see an LMU student perform. I love the Hotel Cafe. It is one of my favorite venues in Los Angeles. There's nothing like getting there early enough to grab a table, and then hanging out listening to the live music and enjoying the fantastic ambiance. Last night, I looked around the table, and realized some of my favorite people were by my side, and in a moment of clarity, I realized that I have made a great life for myself in LA. I have some great friends who make me smile and love me for who I am. I have a good job with people that I like. And I'm actively working to making progress on the things in my life that I'd like to see changed. There's not much more you can ask for.

Today, I had some more clarity as I listened to what I really wanted out of my day, and didn't worry about what anyone else wanted. I was invited to go to Disney, which is typically a no-brainer for me. But today, when asked, I almost felt obliged to go. Going to Disney? Yes! Done and done. But all of a sudden, I was really aware of the feeling inside of me telling me not to go...telling me to stay home with myself and just have some me time. So, despite feeling a little sad to be missing out, I kindly declined the offer and settled in for some time alone. And this was exactly what I needed. Now, as I'm tucked into bed and looking ahead to tomorrow, I feel very content with my day and more ready to take one another.

And isn't that something?

Random Road Trip

As most of you know, I am far from spontaneous. I am a planner. One time, in grad school, Kevin, Liz, Jen and I went on a road trip, and the four of us even planned our spontaneity. That's very us, and very me.

So, when faced with time off and countless attempts to find an affordable vacation with no success, it was looking like I was going to spend my days off during spring break no further away than Manhattan Beach.

Now, let me be clear. I love Manhattan Beach, and I am always in awe of myself that I get to roll out of bed and over to the beach whenever I want. So, I have no problems with this existence. However, there were a few variables that were making this scenario less than favorable this week:

-ONE- I had gotten approval to have this time away. For some people, this sounds like a simple task, but in the world of Residence Life at LMU, you need to actually be granted permission to go away for the weekend. It is one the few aspects of my job that I truly don't like (and it makes it even harder because I don't agree with the logic behind it), and probably the thing that will eventually cause me to look for another job that promotes a better life balance. Anyway....I digress... So, I actually had the time away, and since this is not always the easiest thing to accomplish, I did not want to lost out on the opportunity.

-TWO- The weather wasn't supposed to be great in LA. Shocking, I know, but let me clarify. Not great weather in LA means cloudy and 60 degrees. I know this is far from terrible in the grand scheme of things, but in my life, this means no beach weather. Boo for the pale kid.

-THREE- No responsibilities and no sun can only lead to one thing. Nothing holding me accountable to getting out of bed. This is what would likely happen..I would wake up naturally around 7:30am. Refusing to get out of bed this early, I would turn the tv on and pray for a Law & Order marathon. After a while, I would likely fall back asleep, and stay in a half awake/half asleep state until I feel so pathetic and lazy that I drag myself to the couch, where at least I can say that I got out of bed.

So, all of these factors were making the idea of staying in LA not so favorable. I mean, even AJ was out of town on an AB trip, so there would be no person calling me for brunch in the morning. As I was lamenting about this one day, my friend Scott and I started exchanging FB chats, and before I knew it, he was persuading me to get off my arse and visit him in Phoenix. This seemed like a simple plan. Pack a bag, grab my Chevron gift card I won at the blood drive, charge the iPod and six hours later...voila! Phoenix. But immediately, I began to doubt the idea. I hadn't really thought this through or planned for it. Could I really just jump in Miss Henrietta and head east? And really, I clearly had the ability to do so, so it wasn't a question so much of could I as it was would I? Even on Tuesday night after telling Scott I was going to make the journey, I wasn't so sure it would happen.

But alas, I surprised even myself. And on Wednesday, as I threw my stuff in the car and put her in drive, I set my sights on Phoenix, and never looked back. One stop, six hours and endless tunes later, I pulled up on Alamo Street to find Scott sitting outside with a beer in hand. And after a tour of his new house, we were off to dinner at the Cornish Pasty Co. What is that, you might ask? Well, I'm still not entirely sure. But what I do know is that it was very English, very Scott and very enjoyable.

Now, as I sit by his pool and listen to the songbird chirp, a new twist to the random road trip unfolds. Kelly and her husband are on their way to Phoenix as I type to visit her parents. So, it looks like I might get two Buckeyes for the price of one this weekend. This goes to show me...sometimes spontaneity pays off!

Goals

So, my goal for 2010 was to blog at least 10 times a month. Clearly, I did not accomplish this in March...at least not on this blog. Since I am also trying to keep up with this photo a day blog (http://photographicstate2010.blogspot.com and http://agirlandherpointofview.blogspot.com), I guess I technically did blog, just not in the written format. Either way, something that I've definitely learned, and often remind myself, is to let myself off of the hook when I don't do something "perfectly." So, I think five times is pretty good, and today is a new month (literally), so it's time to start again.

And in fairness, I am working toward helping others enter the world of blogging. Today, I've encouraged my dear friend Dung to start his own blog, commenting on all of the interesting news articles he always posts on Facebook. And I have a blog idea in mind for my niece's summer vacation this year. So, clearly I've done my part for the blogosphere.

The Power of We

I've been thinking a lot about the word "we" lately. This past weekend, my brother told my parents that he might be getting laid off this week. He explained what the school district was planning and how it might impact his employment as a teacher at the high school. He told them not to worry, and explained some of the backup plans he has, in case this came to fruition.

So, after explaining all of this, what did my mom say? She said, "honey, I hope that doesn't happen, but if it does, we'll work it out." We. Two simple letters. All the strength in the world. My whole life, our family has been a "we." And even now that my brother and I are adults, we are still a "we." No matter what the ups and downs of life come my way, I will never stand alone. My parents will always be there to support me, and this is not something I take for granted. I know that I am extremely lucky to be part of this "we."

What a Picture's Worth

So, my dear friends from grad school convinced me to participate in a photo-a-day blog that consists of 30 people around the world each posting one picture a day. I was hesitant at first because I am always so nervous of not following through with the commitment. But, after some good peer pressure, I joined up, and now I am posting at Photographic State 2010. But, I also wanted to keep a separate photo blog that was all about me. Maybe it's because I'm an introvert or a fairly private person, but something about having the option to post separate pictures or to post the same pictures, but allow my family and friends to come visit and comment was very appealing to me. So, I've been keeping up with a double posting of the pictures at my own site: A Girl and her Point of View. I'm excited to see how this continues and where I take it from here.

Marching On

Wow. I can't believe March is halfway over. How did that happen? That also means that we are two and a half months into 2010! Woah!

My goal was to blog at least ten days out of each month (but really try for 15). Considering this is only my third March blog, I might not make that 10 time minimum, but I'm still not giving up. Especially because I do feel like I have just as much to type and say. In fact, March has been quite eventful. I basically started the month in Chicago for eight days, which was a great time! I saw a lot of great colleagues, but the highlight of the conference for me is always spending time with Rachel. How do I even begin to explain what my friendship with Rachel means? She is smart, funny and inspiring. She makes me smile and understands when I grumble. I sit in awe of her talent, and am encouraged to be a stronger professional when I'm around her. Not to mention, she's just a great friend! So, eight days in Chicago or any city is always well worth the quality time with Ms. Rachel. Heart her.

I also got to have lunch with Jen. She was able to drive in from her new home in Rockford for a day, so we grabbed lunch and caught up. Jen is another amazing friend, and I love that we can pick up where we left off without skipping a beat. I miss having her nearby so that we can have girl time more frequently, but again, I'll take the time I can get.

And, of course, there was the conference. It was a great one! Good programs, including my own. I felt good about the presentation that Marci and I did. And I'm excited to put in more proposals for the next round of conferences.

So, March has gone by quickly. And I'm anxious to see what the rest of the month has to offer.

Inspired

I am listening to a Jesuit talk about how we need to love our students for who they are, even when we disagree with their opinions or actions. Who knew I could be inspired working at a Catholic university. But I grow more and more in love with Jesuit education each day.

Anti-productive Therapy

I've been waiting for over 15 minutes for my therapist. At 6pm, she came out and said she'd just be a minute. Now I'm frustrated and more stressed than I was when I arrived. Isn't this counterintuitive? I think she should pay me for this session.