Tears of Glee

Tonight's episode of 'Glee' brought me to tears.  I already am so endeared to the character of Finn, and he made some big steps in the right direction at his mom's wedding to Kurt's dad.  I love the character of Kurt, as well, so the entire scene had me balled up on the couch with tears streaming down my face.  And with AJ laughing at me (even though he was also all emotional about it), it just added to the whole situation.  And then, as the episode ended, I couldn't help but be even more upset at Kurt's decision to transfer schools.  And with the next episode being sectionals, how will it all get resolved so that they aren't Glee rivals?  Ugh!  I am so stressed about all of it!

Okay, so upon rereading this last paragraph, I'm wondering if I should seek additional help.  I clearly get way too attached to fictional characters in books, movies and TV shows.  This can't be normal.  I once cried for 20 minutes in my seat after seeing 'Miss Saigon' on Broadway.  Twenty minutes!  My friends were all sitting there wondering what to do with me.  Or the time that Yas, Marci and I saw 'Time Traveler's Wife' in the theaters, and the usher had to kick us out so that they could turn the theater over for the next showing.  We were sitting there in tears with the book in hand recapping our favorite moments.  I know a lot of people cry, but I'm telling you, my level of being impacted is different.  I become a mess.  Don't even get me started about what happened after seeing 'Life is Beautiful.'  Tragic.  The movie and my reaction.

Little Victories

Today, I finally got the documentation from my doctor that I've been waiting for.  And while I know this isn't the end of the drama with work and HR, at least it's one step closer and one more thing off of my shoulders.  Now let's see how long it takes them to tell me all of the things they feel is wrong about the document so we can start round four of this epic battle.  Somehow, I don't think any of these people will be making my thankful list this Thanksgiving!

Spirits Lifting

It's amazing what a little resumé writing can do for you!  Today, I feel lighter.  Rather than letting myself spin because of everything taking place at work, I woke up feeling like I could focus on the positives beyond this mess.  I am excited because it's "Beat Michigan" week!  I'm ready for the Buckeyes to dominate the Wolverines once again!  I'm excited because AJ and I are heading to Canada for the first time this week.  Yay for the great, white north!  I'm excited because it's Thanksgiving week!  Thanksgiving is by far my favorite holiday, and although I am always sad when I can't spend it in Jersey with my family, I am so thankful that they are all in my life, which is always a source of light for me.

So, feeding off of this positive energy and taking a lead from the chilly weather outside, I spent the day making chili and breaking out my knitting supplies.  So, while I know living in LA doesn't always lend itself to either of those activities, the spirit was in the air, so I went with it.

Resumé/Resume

Do you think there's a reason why the word resumé and the word resume are so similar?  While I'm sure my darling Carmen is chomping at the bit to tell me the origins of these words and why they are, in fact, so similar in nature (go ahead Carmen...tell us!), I'm going to go ahead and pontificate on my own.  I believe that the reason these words have such a resemblance is because in order for you to resume your career, you must create a resumé!  Sounds logical, right?

Today, empowered by my crumby day at work, I decided to focus my energy on the positives things that I could control.  So I began by working on my resumé.  And it took all day, and a lot of back and forth, but I feel very happy with its current form.  It needs a bit of tweaking and another set of eyes for some feedback, but I am one step closer to resuming my professional worth!  Which is very important because while laying in bed last night spinning in my head around all of my frustrations and disappointment with the way things currently are, I think I made a big decision.  I think I am going to apply to sail again with Semester at Sea.  It's not 100%, but it's the first thing that I've considered recently that feels right...and it's the first thing that inspired me enough to update my resumé.

So tonight, unlike last night, I lay in bed feeling lighter about the days ahead because I finally have something to dream about again.

Facing the Music

I don't even have the energy to go into why today was such a terribly emotional day other than to say that my frustration with my supervisor and human resources has boiled over the top.  I even found myself speaking very harshly to HR before bursting into tears.  And after not being able to avoid thinking about anything else all day, I think it's time for me to realize that maybe I need to learn how to cut the ties.  I love LMU and I love my students, but isn't how you are treated during a time of medical leave a sure sign of a department's true colors?  And if there are no other jobs open here, then that doesn't leave me with many choices.  My heart is broken, but I am exhausted.  I just don't know what else to do.

Mischief Managed

What can I say?  I am obsessed with Harry Potter.  I have ready every book at least twice.  I have seen every movie on opening day (mostly at midnight).  I even own my own Gryffindor scarf (even though I am definitely on the border between Gryffindor and Ravenclaw).  I just adore the imagination, creativity, adventure and love that comes alive on every page.

When the clock struck 12 last night, I was seated in a theater with nine folks from work, and we were waiting with bated breath for the lights to dim and the previews to roll.  And once the magic began, I was hooked.  From the first scene to the last, I was soaking in every detail and anxious about what was coming next.  I didn't want any of it to end.  But when it did, I couldn't help but feel like they ended it at just the right spot.  And now, as I sit in the day after glow, all I can think about is how much story is left to tell, but how sad it will be when those final credits appear.  Then what?  I can't even think about it.  So in the mean time, I am just going to focus on the magic that is this movie, and every time I need another HP fix, I'll reach for one of the books and get sucked right back in to the world of Hogwarts.

Nap Time

Tonight is the premiere of part 1 of the final Harry Potter saga!  I am so, so excited.  These books have been such a source of fun and adventure for my imagination.  And even a source of support during some pretty tough times.  Seeing the movies come to life has been great!  There are ten of us geared up to go, and I even have my Gryffindor scarf ready.  And while AJ still has 300 pages to read before we hit the theater, I am in need of a nap if I am going to make it to a midnight showing.  So I'm curling up on the couch and getting ready for sweet dreams that'll leave me rested and ready for a magical adventure!

Today

Today is always such a tough day for me.  Today would have been John's 33rd birthday.  That seems so old.  How can time have passed so quickly?  It never seems to make any sense in my head.  So, as always, it was a bit of a tough day.  I was wrapped up a lot in my head, and even ended up staying at a work event longer than expected just to be around people.  But when I came home, I was greeted by a gift and a note from AJ.  Just a little something to bring a laughter to my heart on an otherwise difficult day.  I sat on the couch crying and hugging the gift.  I was shedding tears for the friend who I missed so much and shedding tears for the friend who cared enough to remember.  I am so lucky to have both men in my life.