Epiphany

I just had one of those moments of clarity when you realize how a piece of your past has informed your present.  Like many of us, I grew up watching movies and television shows that have set me up for unrealistic expectations.  And these expectations can almost always be summarized by this:

Boy meets girl.  Boy and girl have deep connection, usually sharing a love for laughter, intelligence, wit...but is always complicated by other relationships, tense arguing and life hurdles.  They endure hurdles and find their way through life and identity exploration, but usually in the end, they find each other.  I didn't watch movies about princesses or teen pop idols making their movie debuts.  There was less cutesy moral undertones, and usually deeper, darker self-exploration.  It wasn't about making the world a better place; it was about figuring out what your own purpose was in the world and struggling to get there.  It was very Gen X.

So, as I curled up on the couch and watched "Reality Bites," one of my favorite films from my high school and college days, I couldn't help but have this "AHA!" moment because I was just as drawn to the intelligent, handsome, creative and beautifully flawed Troy Dyer today as I was when I was 16.  And I couldn't help but wonder why he wasn't standing at the bottom of my staircase coming to find me every time I leave my apartment.

So I can't help but sit here and wonder if Troy Dyer is one of the reasons I am still single.  Has he ruined it for me?  Is Troy Dyer my Prince Charming?