Heartbroken

I find myself at a loss.  I am standing and have no idea in which way to turn.  All I know is that I can't seem to turn off this sickening feeling that a change is needed, but there is no change to be had.  I don't know what to do.  I don't know where to turn.  And I don't know how to stop feeling like I need to choose between myself and my job.  And can this really be legal?  Shouldn't people be allowed to take care of themselves without their job getting involved?  And how can I love so many parts of my job and yet feel so discouraged.  It's been a while since I felt this way.  Not since my second WTI when we talked about whether or not you had champions of your work have I felt so lost.  And the advice that Jane (one of the resident scholars) gave me then seems really applicable now.  But just like then, it isn't ideal.  So just like then, I feel deflated and heartbroken.  And I don't know what to do.